CHOICE

    In all things we have a choice. I have learned that in every circumstance, good or bad, we have a choice.  A choice in how we're going to react AND how we treat each other. Our choices can bring joy or sorrow.  Which one are you going to choose?

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man.  And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27

I learned this lesson in living color this week.  I am slow to learn.  God is always trying to teach me this lesson.  But this week I actually saw it.  Hopefully it sticks.  I'm slow.

I had the opportunity to take lunch over to my aging aunt and uncle.  Their daughter, who is usually their full time caregiver, got Covid and was sequestered in a hotel somewhere.  

I was asked and willingly offered to help.  I love my aunt and uncle.  It's impossible not to love them.  They are quick to laugh and be grateful.  Two keys to having joy.

When I took them lunch, they were so grateful.  Both for the food and the company.  I loved visiting them.  Even if I have to scream to be heard.  My uncle is terribly deaf.  And my aunt is struggling with dementia.  But I didn't mind.  They wanted an update on my mom who is the sister to my uncle.  My mom and her brother love each other so much.  It's truly joyful to watch.

The thing that took my breath away was how my aunt and uncle still treat each other after 50+ years of marriage.  Even though they have to repeat themselves over and over to each other, they do so with love and patience. Then when my aunt seemed confused or didn't remember what to do, my uncle was patient in telling her she was doing it right.  And was fine.  It's incredible to watch.  Almost unreal in this day and time when anger, animosity and discord flourish. Their concern is always with the other person.  

It's beautiful and joyful to watch.  I always come away from their home a little better.  Kinder.  More patient and willing to seek another's comfort first. Thank you Uncle Mont and Aunt Barbara for your incredible example.  I love you.    

FAITH

When I was 16, 17, 18 years old to about the age of 25, my faith was rock solid.  Immovable.  My faith was built on bedrock and couldn't be moved.  

At least that's what I thought.  God was a part of my life.  He answered my prayers.  He was there.  I KNEW it.  

But then hard things happened.  Children had agency they used in a way that hurt them instead of helping them.  B used his agency in a way that hurt me.  And him.  I was bumped and bruised and I began to wonder where God and Christ were in all of this mess and hurt.  

I know I have to have hurt and sorrow.  I have to learn.  I have to have gain wisdom only available by experience.  I have to empathy born of that experience.  But it hurt. And continues to hurt.  And couldn't Christ minimize the pain?

My faith has taken a different path.  When I pray, I wonder if God is going to answer because it's his will?  Or am I going to have to navigate this on my own this since the answer to my pleadings are a resounding no from Him?'  And when the answer is no, I wonder if he's there and has he heard me?  

Why wouldn't he give me what I ask for when what I ask for is meant to bless everyone involved? But sometimes my request is to minimize the full measure of the pain that God requires or desires me to experience.  I hate that part.

Today my plea is to Let God Prevail (RMN, Oct. 2020).  I know in my head I need to do this.  My head knows that 'He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him.'  My hard and willful heart is still trying to know it.  And struggles to lay down the desire to have it my way.  My way doesn't know better.  God and my Savior do.  I want that faith back from my 16 year old self.