Different

I find it fascinating that this picture has been in my folder for at least 2 months.  I loved it the minute I saw it.  The colors are vivid and vibrant. Each silhouette is different yet beautiful.  They are striking in their own way. 

We are all beautiful.  We are all different.  We each bring color and vitality to the human picture. One isn't better or more beautiful than another.  We all shine and glow in the way only we can.  In the way God wants us too.

With all the protests and riots going on around our nation because of the killing of a black man named George Floyd, my heart has been saddened and heavy.  Do many of us still see each other through the lens of the color of our skin, or where we live, or, how much we have?  I am heartbroken to see the destruction going on in the name of 'being heard'.  One evil doesn't justify another.  It only creates more darkness.

I wish we could all share our own beauty in our unique way without judgement.  Without criticism.  That would be amazing.  That would make our world something wonderful.

Life Goes On....

When the Pandemic just began hitting us, about March 15, I felt like life was crazy and out of whack. It was!

I tried doing as many normal things as I could.  Just to feel normal.

One thing I kept doing was delivering Meals on Wheels.  Things were different there too.  Jim and I were no longer able to drive together because of new social distancing rules.  I was sad.  But at the same time I didn't think it would go on too long.  So Jim drove and delivered on Tuesdays and I kept doing Wednesday's deliveries.  Alone. 

One day as I was delivering and feeling slightly off balance by it all, I noticed all the spring flowers beginning to bloom.  The tulips, the daffodils, the forsythia, and the beautiful aubretia.  My heart was immediately calmed.  Life goes on.  The seasons don't care if the world shuts down and we're all quarantined.  The sun still rises.  The rains still falls.  And spring is here.  In all it's glory.  Spring always has the power to take my breath away after the gray of winter.  This year was no different.  Except it seemed more powerful, somehow.  The message for me was that God is in his heaven watching over us all.  Life goes on.  And we will too.  Trust.

Rocks and the Men up the Street

Several weeks ago, before the Craziness (ie, pandemic) they started work up the street on the new highway.  All kinds of amazing trucks and construction equipment suddenly appeared, almost over night.  If I could have, I would have taken my lunch and a fold up chair and headed up the street to watch the show.  It was entertainment at it's finest.  The excavator and dump trucks were in full swing 5-6 days a week for 10-12 hours a day.  Not to mention the bulldozers, backhoes, and steam rollers.  

Add to this entertainment, we knew that this meant our little street would soon be closed. Our street would no longer be used as a race track. YIPPEE!  People were always in a hurry to get to the top or to the bottom.  Who knows what the great allure was.  Wait, I do know.  It was a straight shot to both, without other cars to slow you down or a cop to stop the fun.

I have been so grateful to these construction guys I decided to make them some cookies.  It's so corny and cheesy, I know, but I honestly couldn't think of any other way to tell them thank you. Thank you for the entertainment and for speeding up the closure of our little street.  I honestly sound like a fun sucker, don't I?  A tired fun sucker.

My brain was taking a hiatus on the day I made the cookies. I put them in a tupperware and marched up the street with my great gift.  Tupperware!?  Tupperware??  Who does that?  What about the good old trustworthy Ziploc bag?  Oh my! 

I handed out a few cookies and then left the TUPPERWARE by the port-a-potty so everyone could get one.  Another brilliant idea.

The next day when I went back for the TUPPERWARE it was no where to be found.  No where.  Somebody needed the cookies AND the TUPPERWARE.  I was kind of bugged.

So for a week or two I quit going and watching the show.  And progress.

Finally, my curiosity got the best of me.  I had to go see what was going on.  I waited until the workers in their big trucks were done for the day.  There was still plenty of daylight so Willow and I took a walk along the west side where they had made a berm and you could see east over the huge expanse they had excavated over the last couple of weeks.  What a view!

We climbed down from our perch and went over to the east side.  There was still a worker guy there but I wasn't too concerned.  We walked past him and he started coming up to Willow and I.  I figured he was going to tell me not to be there any more.  He said he had a question for me.  What?  I told him it's me who should be asking questions considering all the amazingness that was going on.  He asked if I was the one who made the cookies?  What??  Yup, that's right, he had my TUPPERWARE!  Cleaned and ready for a refill.  He said he had taken it because he was worried one of the trucks would squash it.

What do cookies and TUPPERWARE have to do with rocks, you ask?  

The construction guy met Brad after I left and somehow put the two of us together.  They got talking about the pile of rocks that hadn't been taken away yet.  And were they going to use them for something else?  No, they weren't because they weren't all the same size.  Our neighbor had already gotten a few for his garden.  Josh (the nice cookie construction worker-foreman dude) said we could have some and if he had time in the next day or so, he'd use his front-end loader and bring us more.

Which he did the next day. And not just a few.  A LOT!

How amazing is that?  Who knew that a pile of rocks would be the outcome of my weird cookie idea?  People are so amazing.  And good.

Now I'm not sure Josh was telling the truth about the TUPPERWARE and the cookies.  But he was such a nice guy I couldn't help but believe him.  And bring him a refill.  

This time in a Ziploc bag.

Plants, plants, plants

I am a self proclaimed plant nerd.  I have always loved plants.  I tried growing a few when I was in high school, but promptly killed them because I didn't know the first thing about caring for something besides myself.  And I even had a hard time taking care of myself when I was 16, so a plant had no chance.

In my search for myself (which sounds so stupid and cliched!) I have gone back to my roots.  Haha! (plants, roots, get it?) I've just gone back to what I liked when I was younger.  What inspired, rejuvenated, and excited me. 

At one point about 10 years ago I had nearly 100 plants!  Crazy, huh?  Ummm, more than crazy.  I don't know what kind of crazy you would call that.  Hoarding.  About two years ago I started feeling like a mother to all those plants.  Taking care of them all began to be a burden.  It didn't inspire or rejuvenate me.  So I began to divest myself of them.  As they died or got diseases or bugs I would throw them out and not replace them.  I was down to about 4 houseplants and a few succulents.  They weren't dying.  Sometime in my former life, my daughter Rachel told me I had a natural gift for growing houseplants.  Kind of like she has a natural ability for arranging flowers.  That thought has stayed with me.  So at the beginning of the year I knew it was time to bring some more green, growing, rejuvenating, inspiring plants into my house.  I have started small.  I have also begun following a few instagram accounts that inspire my inner plant nerd.  I only want plants that make me happy, not what looks good or what I think I should have. I will pick those plants that sing to my heart.

In January Brad and I took a few field trips to Salt Lake.  We went to Cactus and Tropicals (which sometime needs to be it's own post) and Ikea.  Cactus and Tropicals have the unusual and Ikea has the inexpensive.  The whole field trip made me remember why I love plants so much and it helped me connect with fellow plant nerds.  So fun.  And I'm not alone!

I told Brad about these two plants that I had seen on the Cactus and Tropicals Instagram and how they were on my Plant Bucket List.  What does he do?  Because he's always trying to please and make me smile, he goes and gets them for Valentine's day.  The one on the left is a Prince of Orange Philodendron and the one on the right is a Pilea Peperomoides.  Oh my, they make my little heart go pitter pat!  I just hope they will be happy with their friends in the southeast bedroom.

Time will tell.  I feel like someone who is waking up. 

Floors and Happiness

Can floors make you happy?  I believe they can.  At least these floors have this amazing power over me to make me smile EVERY time I see them.

When we first looked at the 'Little House' we carefully pulled back the carpet (where it was already rolling up!) and I saw the amazing hardwood under that disgusting carpet and I knew how amazing  they could be with a little TLC.  There was potential.  The floors were beautiful, but I had no idea how beautiful they would actually be until after Juan had finished with them.

We went with a little darker color because the previous owners had animals and there was some staining that had occurred to the hardwood even through the carpet.  Unless you know where the stains are you can't see them.  And even when you know where they are you have to put your readers on to see them!

Maybe I love the floors so much because it's a parallel to life.  When life has used and abused you and you feel dinged and stained beyond repair, with a little (or alot) of love and work there is true beauty just waiting to shine back up at you.

Willow

This is joy personified.  Or is it dogified?  Either way, she is the best.  My heart is bursting! Today, despite her owner's (that would be me) blunders, she worked her little heart out and passed the Pet Partners of Utah Exam.  And believe you me, it's a tough one!  Passing a neutral dog is the hardest thing.  But she did it. On the way home she got a hamburger for her reward.  I got a 64 oz. of DDP. 

I am so excited to become a team with this amazing girl. She will be the best therapy dog you can find, once we get a little experience under our belt.  And a little confidence on my part.  I am always questioning myself.  But God is slowly showing me that I have something to offer.  With Willow by my side I know we'll be unconquerable. 

So what are you going to do with Willow, you ask?  As far as therapy work goes?  I'm not sure.  We have to start slow with predictable stuff like Assisted Living Centers and one on one encounters with people.  I would LOVE to go to schools and have the kids read to Willow.  At least I think I would.  I'm not sure about Willow. I  sure as we experience many different kinds of therapy we'll find our niche.  Willow will let me know.

A new chapter with serving.  Joyful.

Shoulds

I'm going to be honest here.....my days have not been as joy-filled as I would like.  Nor, as I normally see them.  And what is worse is that I blame myself and then sit in shame and guilt for that.  I should be seeing the good.  I shouldn't be focusing on the negative or what isn't right.  And I know I shouldn't should on myself.  That's a bad place.  So then there's more guilt and shame for 'should'ing on myself.........

Hawaii was a beautiful place.  Is a beautiful place.  And I thought I went with no expectations.  I think I did in the activities department.  I forgot about the people department.  I guess I went with expectations about how people were going to act.  This isn't my first rodeo, you know.  People were thoughtless about how their actions were affecting the whole group.  Food left out and half eaten. Food and clothing dropped on the floor and then left. Couches left open (for a hide a bed) and completely occupied so we were left to sit on the floor or stand.  Unless we wanted to crawl in the hide a bed.  Ewwww! And then there were those who thought they might punish B and I by not speaking to us.  Which I guess is a bonus considering that if they did speak to us they might have said something we ALL would have regretted.  Sounds pretty petty, doesn't it?  I know I could have said something, but then the tension would have been worse and I'd rather hold it in than dumping on someone else and then dealing with the fallout.  Been there, done that.  Suffice it to say that both Brad and I thought it was alot of $$$$ spent with little/no return.  I don't think there was any bonding done with our little (if you consider 12, little!) family.  Lessons learned.

Despite that, there were still many things I did love.  I loved the blue water and the beaches.  I loved how laid back the people were.  We never heard the honk of a car horn.  No road rage.  I loved the swap meet with its myriad of people to watch and trinkets to buy.  I could have stayed for hours more!  I loved that Nathan and Aubree went back to Pearl Harbor and took me with them.  It is such a reverent place with an amazing history.  I loved touring the submarine Bowfin there at Pearl Harbor.  I got completely claustrophobic and gained a quick appreciations of ANYONE who has served on one.  I loved the Coconut Malasadas at the PCC.  Yum!, is the only word I have for them.  I loved the Pillbox hike and seeing the blue water and beaches in all their glory from up high.  I loved the leaf vine at Waimea Falls.  God is so creative.  I loved the home we stayed in.  It was beautiful and clean and two blocks from the temple and meeting houses AND the beach.  Oh, and I did loved going to a temple session with Brad, Nathan and Aubree and feeling that familiar spirit that I so craved.  I loved the sweet, sister missionary who spoke just with Lindsay at the temple visitor center about Jesus Christ.  I loved being with Brook and Lindsay when they got their picture taken with the birds at the swap meet.  And finally, I loved the Guava Pancakes at Cinnamons and the chocolate at the Manoa Chocolate Factory.  For now, I will hold on to these good things and file the others as 'To Be Forgotten'. I will continue to search for the Joy in my life. And stop with all the shoulds.