The Bountiful Temple has been closed. In fact, all the temples are closed except for sealings and live endowments. And those things are done by appointment only. I've missed the temple. It's such a place of peace and calm. It's a place of revelation for me. I get centered when I go to the temple and everything comes into focus and gets balanced after I've been there. My priorities get all straightened out.
Things haven't felt quite right at home the last few weeks. Brad has been working from home for going on 4 months now. And we all know how I need time away from Brad to feel sane. I need my Marci time. Selfish, I know. But at least I know my limitations. Aspergers in a spouse is a heavy load to bear. Even when his is mild compared to many. I need time away to remember what 'normal' is. Haha, what is normal?!
I know the Coronavirus plays into part of my imbalance. I'm not naive about that. But Brad has not been owning any of his Aspergers and the challenges it brings. He laughs it off like "oh that's just the way I am. Love me anyway."
We moved Kathy Saturday (4th of July) morning. When we got home something happened that triggered me to my core. All I'm going to say is that it was a bookend to something that happened before we were married, that had I known it had happened, would have been a game changer. And there would not have been a marriage. So....was I going to let this repeat offense slide? Ummm, No.
And not even just a heck no. I feel like this has been a turning point in me taking my life back. Me being able to say, "I'm done, playing this game. It stops now. You can't treat me this way. It's NOT okay." Because it's not okay. And no one hardly ever tells Brad no.
I have felt God's tender mercies everywhere. In the scriptures I've read. In the books I'm reading. And then today at the temple.
I needed the peace of the temple. Even if I couldn't go in. So I drove there thinking I could sit on the grass just west of the temple. As it so happened that whole street was closed. But part of the parking lot was open. I think it was for the few temple patrons and construction workers that were there. So I pulled in. Being brave. And I parked so I could look head on at the temple and just to see it's beauty and feel of it's power. You see, in my world, the Bountiful Temple is the only true temple. Just like the Salt Lake Temple is the only true temple for Gregg. This visit was just what my heart needed.
There were no people walking in and out or lingering. I could think and ponder and focus. And receive some revelation and love. As I sat there looking at the temple I watched the crane that you can see in the first picture. It would pick things up from the roof of the temple and then turn to the street on the west and drop off its load. They are obviously doing some maintenance. And I also saw some paint trailers. So the work looks like it's inside and out. But mostly inside.
Then I got thinking about how every so often they clean the temple and update the carpet and chairs.They fix the AC and furnaces. They want to make it as perfect as possible so the Spirit of the Lord will be there and the Lord himself as well.
I'm going through an update. 2.0 My insides are realizing their worth and they won't take the leftovers Brad is offering. Heavenly Father will help me. He already has. I want to be as perfect as possible so the Spirit of the Lord will be with me and so that I will be ready to meet him again.
I don't know what the future holds but it will all be okay.
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